Mumbo Jumbo Ramble

Its been a while since I have blogged... not much has happened.  I've had a few more revelations in life but nothing truly new and exciting going on in my life.  Just the same ole routine... work, work, work and maybe throw in a few good days with my boyfriend and family.. but not a whole lot of that going on either.  Everything has been thrown up in the air and I can't seem to catch all the important things before they fall and shatter on the ground.

I wish I could go on an extended vacation with no responsibilities and no obligations... just doing whatever I wanted to do and not feeling like I am at the mercy of others.  But, such is life in this crazy ole world.

I often find myself wondering if God really ever took some down time... did God ever say 'no' to someone?   Did he truly just constantly had himself on the go and didn't need vacations?  I mean, I know he is God of all but sometimes, everyone just needs to take a step back....I think God took his time to settle and was just in constant prayer... like that was his vacation...praying to his Father.  Is that wrong of me that my vacation is not my prayer time?  That when I do pray, my quiet time isn't necessarily something that I consider 'time away' from it all?  Should quiet times be like that?  Most of my praying time includes just asking for forgiveness and wishing that life wasn't so darn hard!
It kinda makes one feel selfish... after a while, God has to get tired of hearing the same ole thing... He just has to.  I get tired of hearing what I have to say after a while. One thing I wish I could actually say that I never tire of cuz I never say it: I just wish I could learn the phrase 'no' and stick to it.  I'm scared that I'm going to live my life doing things I do not want to be doing, and going places and to please people and not let anyone down.  In the end, I always end up letting myself down... which, I think by doing all of this, I end up causing my quiet times with God to be fewer and when I have them I am mostly complaining about other people when its actually my lack of time organizing and learning that two letter word "no"!  Not being able to say 'no' takes up so much free time that I could be spending with God or taking a walk or just having time for myself... working on me and not worrying about other people all of the time.
I'd like to think the only reason God made the tropics was because He planned them for us to vacation there!!!!  He knew we would need somewhere beautiful to go relax when we were finally about to get that down time.... He is the only one that could truly make a place so beautiful.... why should I deny my Jesus of visiting his masterpiece?!?!?!

Why the heck am I ramblin about this......I'm thinking its time to say NO and stop trying to please everyone and just go have a relaxing time with God... and my family who is Gods other gift to me, and enjoy what He has made for me and enjoy the precious quiet time for that much needed extra time away for myself. BAH!