Jesus on Broadway

Wow, so much has happened since my last blog.  Let's see... it has snowed 3 times. My puppy turned 3. I have legally changed my name back to maiden name.  I have a great guy in my life.  I saw the Trans Siberian Orchestra in concert.  I have discovered that I was driving illegally in my new car of 1yr.  My car was also almost stolen from me.  And through it all, God has had His hand in it the whole time!  He has made a Broadway out of this whole last month.  He is a cool God like that.... how he writes our stories and then it just plays out.... well, here's how my story goes and it begins with.............................................................................................................................................SNOW!

well, this whole snow thing... well, I'm pretty excited about it!  I just wish it would have a really, really good snow day... or week.. just once!  I'm ready for it to stick so I can go sledding and make a snowman! :)  3 cheers for a white christmas please :)

And my dear, sweet, angelic, and adorable cuddly Max turned 3!  I can't believe it... he's such a joy in my life - I have no idea how/where I would be without my little companion.  He has been with me thru a whole lot, loving and being the sweet little guy that he is.... man, he brings so much joy to my life and the lives of my family members (especially, my papa :)!!!).  I love him more than I knew I could possibly love a puppy!!!!!!  He's like my own little boy :)

I must say a PRAISE to Jesus that I finally have my name back.  Never in my wildest dreams did I think that I would be dying to be back to "Umberger" again but hahaha I've never been so grateful!
Thank you, Jesus for the provision in all of that.... I'm forever thankful!!!!!!!!!  It was a pain in the butt to do, but I couldn't have asked for it to go any smoother!

Hmm.. and the great guy.  What do I say about him?  Poor guy!?!?! :)  I can't believe he waited for me to come around!  I don't think I could have asked for someone with a better heart.... I'm so thankful that there are guys out there like him, who treat women with respect and care... he is so incredibly selfless and amazing!!!!  I only hope that I can be that way in return... he deserves the best that can be given, and  I only hope that I can do that for him.  Thank you Jesus for this unexpected surprise! :)

Speaking of the great guy... which leads me into the Trans Siberian Orchestra.  HA!  He took me to see it...although it wasn't anywhere near what I was expecting (i felt like I was at a rock concert) it was still incredibly enjoyable.  I can still feel those butterflies fluttering around sittin next to Ian... I have to admit, I paid attention to the concert but not half as much as I could have if I hadn't of gone with him! :)
My conclusion though is that their Christmas music gives me chill bumps at how insanely talented they are at composing that stuff.... wowzers!

And the whole car thing! ughhh!!!!  I can't believe someone tried to stteal it.... and at church no less!  Oh, well. Finding out that my car wasn't even registered to me the next day was nuts.... cuz if it had gotten stolen then the cops would not have been able to trace my car back to me.... so, Jesus really did look out for me then!  Praise the Lord!
All is well and taken care of....

Funny.. this whole time I never really saw Jesus' hand in any of it... then I thought he was totally behind the scenes but now I see that he was actually out front and center on stage!!!  He has totally broadwayed my life and given me this incredible journey the last month and I couldn't be happier about the outcome.  I am calling for an Jesus ENCORE!

Sending God a text message

I haven't blogged lately..... haha.  Just have had so much going on, just not time. :)

Lately God has really been dealing with me on time and waiting.... I was having another lovely talk with my friend Carissa, and usually when I am talking to her I have like a million epiphany's...i end up answering my own questions before I even really ask them.
I was explaining to her how like, I hate waiting to hear back from people... as everyone knows, I'm a quick/expert texter :) and I just get anxious waiting on hearing from people... you go from talking constantly, to no talking and the wait is just like crazy... and even when you are waiting for someone to come hang out or just see them its like... ughh the waiting is terrible!
Well, isn't God the same way?  How we can pour into Him all the time and talk constantly and then all of a sudden stop... isn't God anxiously awaiting for our next "text message" or phone call or time to hang out?  We get so caught up in all the little things and forget about him.... I am such a victim of this because I do it so often and I hate that.  I get so filled up on Jesus and talk to Him and have this constant interaction and then I just abruptly stop sometimes and go weeks without reading my Bible... God misses me! He misses me reading His love letter to me.
We need to always strive to be in His daily love letter to us... He awaits for us and so patiently because He loves us.

Every song that keeps playing around me is constantly saying "All I need is You, Lord"... and things of that nature.. and its true.  All I need is God... I don't need to fill my time up waiting to hear from people or waiting to go out... or anything like that.  No one can fulfill me in life, love, and spirit like Jesus... all I need IS God and all He wants is for me to realize that.

So, lets daily read His love letter, and daily "send a text" to our Father in Heaven :)  He's waiting to hear from us!  The Lord of the UNIVERSE is waiting on YOU! Does that NOT blow your mind?!?!?! :)

The Roots Of God

Ok... so I went walking today at the Umstead Park.  God led me to this big rock beside a brook and surrounded by trees.
I was just journaling and just writing down so many feelings and emotions that I have been dealing with the last few months...and I just asked God to please, meet me... speak to me... show me something I need to hear from Him.  So, I shut off my ipod and put down my pen... and just sat there.. looking around.  Just seeing God in everything he made... the leaves.. the color of the leaves..the rocks.  how the water was flowing over the rocks, making that relaxing rushing noise of water trickling down.... then I get my phone out to take a few pictures to capture the moments, and I turn around and look through the camera on my phone and behind me is a wall of dirt... and on top of that wall of dirt was a tree, and underneath it were the roots.. they ran deep.  Its amazing that God spoke to me through a tree...because what instantly came to my mind spoke deep into my heart of hearts; into my soul.
I instantly started journaling and this is what God spoke to me.

The act (thought) = seed.  It could be a seed of whatever you want... a seed of hatred, love, bitterness, happiness, etc.
After, the seed is planted in your heart.... after that act or thought or whatever it is.  Who plants it? Satan. We allow it.
Who showers it?  We do.  How?  By acting on the same thing that gave us the seed.  Sinful repetition.  Then it grows.  The more we sin, the bigger the seed, the deeper it goes and grows.  Sometimes it takes years for it to grow, but its still there.  What grows from our seed?  A tree.... we can plant many, many different types of seeds in our hearts, which produce different types of outcomes : trees.

(this is the actual picture i took of the root that was behind me....)

The ground is the foundation.  The seed is planted deep within the heart of the foundation. Then it grows... it grows up, and it grows down..deep into the ground.  Then a plant starts to surface.  Then out comes a tree... and over years it grows and it grows.
The ground is our thoughts/actions.  The seed is planted in our heart (deep into the ground).  When a plant comes to the surface, is when our actions come to the surface... our heart and feelings start to surface, and we start showing what is on the inside - reaping what we sewed.  Over years it becomes/consumes us.. it becomes part of who we are - defining how we are with others, with ourselves, and with Our God.  People can then see what has been deep inside of our hearts.

I currently have a forest of trees in my heart.  Some right now, not so good... and they run deep.  Especially, the seeds of bitterness, jealousy, borderline hatred.... envy, despise, hurt, guilt, lust, resentment, malice, refusing to forgive..... I have let them run so deep, and showered them for so long, that I now have let the roots begin to overrun my forest of anything that had good in it.  Any lush, beautiful, and healthy trees and flowers that God planted/wants to plant in my life.  I feel the roots of evil wrapping its way around my heart...constricting it from allowing God in to heal me and cut me loose.

I have to let God come in and plow down the evil forrest that Satan is trying to so hard overrun anything good that I have in me that Jesus wants to use for His glory.  I need to let God chop down those trees, uproot them, and make them into firewood... burn it to ashes.
Then I can allow the fruits and trees that God wants to plant in my heart: love, honesty, forgiveness, mercy, grace, happiness, selflessness, truth, prosperity, hope, promise, willingness, humble, and a plethora of amazing things that God wants to plant in my heart, mind, and soul.

(and this was the forest of trees behind me, and the tree from that root)

For the root of ALL evil is sin... we need to let GOD put roots in our hearts... for God is the root of ALL things good.

So, let GOD plant the seed in your heart.... allow him to cut down and uproot whatever you are allowing to grow deep inside... let Him be the designer and landscaper of your LIFE.

Mi Universo/My Universe

Mi Universo
My Universe

Que seas mi universo
no quiero darte solo un rato de mi tiempo
no quiero separate un día solamente
Que seas mi universo
no quiero darte mis palabras como gotas
quiero un diluvio de alabanzas en mi boca

You're my world
I do not want to give you just a bit of my time
I do not want to separate one day only
You're my world
I do not want to give you my word as droplets
I want a flood of praise in my mouth

Que seas mi universo
Que seas todo lo que siento y lo que pienso
Que seas el primer aliento en la mañana
y la luz en mi ventana

You're my world
You're all that I feel and what I think
You're the first breath in the morning
and light in my window

Que seas mi universo
Que llenes cada uno de mis pensamientos
Que tu presencia y tu poder sean mi alimento
oh Jesús es mi deseo

You're my world
To fill each of my thoughts
Your presence and your power will be my food
oh Jesus is my desire

Que seas mi universo
no quiero darte solo parte de mis años
te quiero dueño de mi tiempo y de mi espacio

You're my world
I do not want to give you only part of my years
I want you (as the) owner of my time and my space

Que seas mi universo
no quiero hacer mi voluntad quiero agradarte
y cada sueño que hay en mi quiero entregarte

You're my world
I do not want to make my will I want to like/please you
and every dream there is inside of me I want to give you


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NL1nZF3EnOQ
(check out the song here - even if it is in spanish its incredibly beautiful)


Only one of the best songs you could ever, ever hear in spanish.  On the worship part that is.. there are a plethora of spanish songs I LOOOOOVE but they are mostly romantic songs by Sin Bandera or Camila. :) :)


This week has been a million emotions... excited, sad, happy, upset, anxious, hopeful..... I learned this week that I hold a lot of anger towards a lot of people/things and I need to try and let go of all of that... its so hard though.  This song has been stuck in my head since last night and I just can't stop listening to the words and meditating on them.  They ring so loud and true and so pure and so how we should feel every single day.
I need to give God every part of me... every thought, every desire, every wish, every hope, ever despair, every crack in my heart, everything..... do not hold on to anything.  I can't control anything, and the more Jesus has of ME the less I have of ME and thats how it should be.  Jesus IS IT! Not me.. not you.... not anything.  Its just the Lord Jesus... he is everything and in everything.  I hate how I wander so far from this mindset and get caught up in my flesh... dying to self everyday is incredibly hard and God is showing me that is the one thing I need to break in my life... because it is consuming me.
Oh, Jesus please help me to fall - and when I fall, it will be at your feet and you will pick me up and hold me and help me through - and it will all be ok.


On a side note... I totally feel like I should be at the beach.. God wants me to have the sand between my toes, the salty wind against my face, and that little spray of water carried by the wind from the waves that are breaking at my feet.
Now, I just need to be able to make it there!!!!  Too much working and not enough down time.  That has GOT to change.. for my sanity and the sanity of others. :)

Best day

Today has been one for the records!  I was able to get my haircut by the lovely Teresa, and then while she was cutting it, I possibly received the BEST phone call... my divorce OFFICIALLY went through and I am SINGLE!  AHHHHH So excited! :)
Its "officially" over legally, but thank you Jesus for healing me and letting it be truly over in my heart for a very long time.

I am so overwhelmed at how blessed and spared I am.  My life could have gone a million different ways but thank you Jesus that you spared me and I am where I am today.
I look forward to all that He has for me - I am completely open and willing!!!!!

On a side note... the stars have been incredibly amazing lately.... I want to go star gazing and get a *snuggle buddy*, *hot chocolate, blankets, binoculars, and spend all night.... geez, when's the next meteor shower?!?!? Those were the best.... I miss them!  I need to find a good place around here thats open and zero lights at all.
Thats when I feel closest to God... looking at the stars.. and being at the beach of course.. or on top of a mountain. :) aka, anything outdoors!!!!!

Well, I SHOULD be going to bed, but I am sooo hyped up! I am so ready for the weekend though... hopefully, I can catch up on my rest then.  What a loooong week!  67hrs is killer...but who's counting? ;)

Tip for the week: Whatever your circumstance, just trust that God will deliver you from the situation and bring many many blessings from that!  Be forever thankful and grateful to God for what He does for us and has done.
Thank you Lord Jesus for answering my prayers and blessing my soul and touching my heart!

Healthy/Vacay or Bust!

Ok.. maybe this will hold me accountable. :)
I am starting tomorrow on my starbucks fast :( :( :( this is completely going to be INCREDIBLY difficult for me. :(  But, its making me so uncomfortable after I drink it and I don't want that anymore.
I also am realizing how unhealthy I am and have been lately.... I need to get back into shape and start eating right and working out again.  God wants me to be healthy :)

So, starting tomorrow.. I am cutting out just about half of what I'm eating,
  MY COFFEE

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hopefullly, by blogging this I can hold myself more accountable to this all. :)

On a side note... I had an incredible opportunity to learn under the amazinggg Carla Ross this weekend!!!!!!!!!  She is an incredible hair artist and to learn from her was unforgettable!

Cant wait to put my new skillz to work. :)

Butttt, even though I enjoy hair... I NEED A BREAK! I need a vacation!  My goal is to work really hard this holiday season and take off for like..................... a month! hahahaha... just want to be able to relax. but I'm going somewhere tropical so I need to be bikini ready :) in comes the reasoning for eating better and working out.. I want to truly enjoy my vacay and look good :)

ok...off to bed I go, dreaming of my Belize. :)

Hard Heart vs. A Back Bone

Lately, I have been finding myself wondering how you can get a back bone and not harden your heart at the same time?
Its so hard to stand up for yourself, and not come across as being rude or mean.  Having a hard heart is such a bad thing to do, because breaking that hardness comes with a price and doesn't come easy.

Our heart is an incredibly precious thing.  Its a gift.  We must guard it and take care of it and try to make it be the heart God intended to be.  He doesn't give it to us so we can use it for evil... so we can just turn it into an icy, cold mess.  He didn't give it to us for us to hold our harshness, or keep our love from others.  Our hearts are supposed to be tender and sensitive to the needs of others.
However, when others are responding in the opposite way, offending and harsh, how is it that we can guard ourselves against it?  How can we protect ourselves from being crushed and scarred?
Its an inevitable thing, that you are going to get your heart broken.  You are going to get it scarred.  You are going to get hurt.  I don't know of anyway to get around it... but in those times are when you learn the most from God.  But, for the most part, we tend to hardened our hearts towards certain people/areas and turn cold.  We run.  We put our hearts back in the box that God gifted us with when we were made and close it back up.
I fall into this category all too well..
My mom has always described it as me always going back into my castle.  I can hide in this big castle and no one can get to me.
I put my heart in my "castle walls made of stone", where I can see people in the fields around me....I have my moat and no one can trespass unless I let down the gate.  I stand at the top of my tower, and I see everyone and keep them at a distance...its safe there.. it may be cold, but its safe.  If its a castle, obviously there is no light...but if God is our light and our salvation, how can we reside in such circumstances?  We cannot.
But it is so hard to not jump back inside.... so hard not to reel back in the chains that are letting down that gate to let people inside.  Its easier to keep that gate up and not put forth the effort to let it down.

How can we find the balance between the two?  Hardened heart vs. Being strong for your heart

We can only pray that God would give us the wisdom and discernment between the two.  I always find myself guarding it in the wrong way, and shielding off people because I am always disappointed.
However, that is wrong.. what if one day you shield off the wrong person, and that is someone who God has put in your path - well, who am I kidding?!?! Everyone is put in your path for a reason... so we shouldn't do that to anyone (within reason! aka. don't befriend someone who is crossing the line... just pray for them!).
Everything happens for a reason, everyone happens for a reason.... everyone is there for  a reason.  God gives and God takes away.  We learn.. we live... we are supposed to love.
Thank you Jesus for not assuming how we are, and who we are, and what we will do!  Thank you for knowing and accepting even when you knew before we were created all that was going to happen and you love us in spite of it all!!!!!!
Thank you for NOT guarding Your heart against us when we have wronged you.  Where would we be without YOUR LOVE?!?!?!

So, pray to God to show you how YOU are supposed to love and trust.  Its not easy, but maybe let down the gate and have a feast in your castle, and you might just be surprised about the many wonderful things that come from that. Thank you Jesus that WE are not the ones to guard our hearts - You guard it for us.

I am loved by my Father.. I am loved as Your daughter.. I am held by your spirit and in your arms I can run.. I am scarred and I am broken.. my own strength I have none.. still I am loved by my Father and in HIS arms I will run.

Anger Management

Ok so... this may not be news to most of you, but I soooo need anger management.  I need a better outlook on life.  I need to stop being so negative.  I need to be more thankful.  I need to be more gracious, more understanding.  I need to not be jealous.  I need to not be selfish.  I need to stop being so quick to anger.  I need to stop assuming.  I need to learn contentment and peace.  I need to learn how to love....be happy for people.

AHHHH!!!! I'm so fed up with myself!  I'm tired of letting others define who I am, guilt trip me into being somebody and doing things I DO NOT WANT TO DO!  No one else does it for you, so why should I?  I'm tired of playing the games and just being "convenient" for other people.  I'm not a doormat, I am not your tissue rag, I am NOT your last resort.

I let things just build up, and keep building until they explode and I embarrass myself.  I need to learn how to keep myself in check and not let things get to me so badly like they do.  People are just looking out for number one, they do not care about you or your issues or your anything unless it is convenient or benefiting them.
I, too, am like this for other people... I try not to be.  However, I just always jump to conclusion and feel like I use people for my benefit - i don't want to... its how our sinful nature is.  We let it win.

I struggle to wonder if there is any good in the world.  I let all the people who don't really matter control and define how I look at myself.  I should not!  Who is the person who says I am or am not pretty?  I am or am not fat?  I am or am not stupid?  I talk to much?  I'm annoying?
Nobody.... you are supposed to define yourself in Christ.... we fall so short of that and just get preoccupied with how others view us and then we BELIEVE it!  Oh how sad.

No entiendo porque estamos creendo en las cosas que no tienen significa en este vida!

Oh how good it feels to vent. :)  I wish I could be such more of a positive, genuine person.  I don't like or take joy in hurting peoples feelings, or being jealous... I wish I could be genuine and happy and thankful for people and things.  God is so holy and gracious to me, why is it so difficult for me?
I hate having a bad attitude.. nobody likes anyone with a bad 'tude.  I don't. ... I don't even like myself when I am like that. Gahh i'm a brat. :)

BUTTTT... In God's eyes i'm beautiful, i'm not perfect and He loves that... He uses moments like these to mold us and make us into His image - especially when we fall so short and so far from that.... like me... like I did.. today, yesterday, and heck.. the last 24yrs of my life!  I'm tired of riding the negative nancy train....

But, someone brought an amazing new perspective into my life today.. we shall call him (venti black eye :)!!!) that God only made ONE of us.  Out of billions of people he only made ONE OF ME!  And one of me to love someone just like me.. how I feel, etc.  What a concept.
So try to love yourself so you can love others the way GOD loves you and loves them too.

Life: Whats Wrong With This Picture?!

Well, halloween has come and gone! thank goodness :)
Always fun to be able to act and be someone else besides yourself, because sometimes you just need that escape to be fun and act silly and not be your usual self!


Oh, life... how unpredictable. So much going on and no time to just stop and breathe. So much to do, to please people, to be involved, just go go go - do do do! Never anytime to stop and just be.  Be content.  Be patient.  Be still.  Be happy.  Be yourself.  Too many things happening and expectations.  Its exhausting.  Its unsatisfying!
Its so hard to quiet the noises in your head, and outside...quiet the voices of others.. of the devil.  He's so loud! Wish I could borrow some earplugs from God to drown out any of the negativity and sin and nagging.  Only God can quiet it all.  Gahh, even now i'm rambling!


How is it that we can't just be like God? Why does it have to be so hard? Its so bad because I KNOW how we should be.. how I should be.  How I should act.  God calls us specifically and clearly what to do as His children.. yet our flesh is so incredibly strong that we drown out what we know God is saying to do.  That means we must die to self and turn the other cheek - and lets face it.. who wants to do that?!?!!?  I know I'm not supposed to judge.  I know I'm supposed to forgive 77 x's 7.  I know I'm supposed to love everyone no matter what race, age, past, looks.. just love.  Thats all He asks us to do.  Why is it so hard?  Because our flesh is so strong and crying out.  But why do we not want to do what the Lord of our life, the romancer of our heart, He wants us to do?  He asks so little in comparison to what He has done for us.  Why can we simply not return the small favor He asks of us!?


Surrendering and dying to self is the hardest, most annoying thing to do.  Is it because we don't want to give others the satisfaction or let them win?  Ultimately, we will be rewarded for it from someone who's opinion and love matters FAR greater (GOD!) than the person we are trying to overcome and get approval from.

We are God's masterpieces.  Uniquely created, uniquely beautiful.  We should not seek approval from anyone.. yet it captures and consumes us.  Who defines what is acceptable? Who?!  God.  Why do we let others manipulate our decisions...our time.. our thoughts.  I am a person who is easily guilted into trying to please others.  I so greatly wish to change that because I always end up in places and with people I just do not feel is beneficial.  Life is so short.  Do not waste it trying to please others and going places you don't want to go... why spend your life wasting away just to please? God is who we are pleasing, and who we are seeking.  Its only Him that matters.

Meditating yesterday I was thinking and contemplating all of the above... and God simply told me this:

You cannot constrict an artist; you cannot give them any limitations..for if you take away any part of that, you are taking away a part of them. So shine, be creative, and don't hold others back from showing their artistry in life. No one piece of art is the same, yet they are all beautiful and unique; as we are made in God and are in His eyes - unique and beautiful.

Lets live life according to how God created us... lets bring to life the masterpiece He has created inside of our souls and intricately woven into our life.

And I'm speaking to myself more than anyone :) lets see if I can heed my own advice!!!!!!!!!

Florida State till Death

Ahhh!!!! The game tonight was so incredibly intense!  We played so well, up until the 3rd quarter.  All I have to say is that we HANDED NC State the game.  They would NOT have won if we hadn't of given it to them!  So, you're welcome.
Overall, it was a fun experience!!!  Ruby made friends with this guy sitting behind us who started out talking smack, but ended up being pretty cool. :)   These two lovely older gentleman in front of us... poor guys.. I screamed in their ear until they could hear no more. hahaha.  Who cares! They were wolf packers so they needed to hear me - oh, how they didn't know it was their lucky night :)

I'm pretty hard core. :) haha SO MUCH FUN! I loved ittt... makes me miss the good ole Florida days when I could go to games a lot more!

Thank you to Lauren who scored us those tickets!!!!!!!! Love making new friends. :)

Now I'm completely exhausted and hoarse and I should be napping instead of blogging because I have work tomorrow!  I hope I don't have any state fans as clients... might slip my sheers - ooops. haha jk. :)

FSU FOR LIFE!

Thanks to Duke for the AWESOME pumpkin!!!! Representin'!

Ohh boys!!!

What a day!!!!  Seriously... how to put this eloquently? Boys are jerks.  Well, most of them anyways. :)
I can't believe how sometimes they say the things that they do and actually think that it sounds ok and it won't hurt your feelings. haha! hysterical!!!!
I'm just so incredibly thankful that i don't have to deal with the reasons why certain boys (or people for that matter) are in my past... they are there for a reason, so leave them there girls!

God makes us all to have a mutual respect for one another. Love, patience... ya know the whole spill.  There aren't many guys out there who are actually gentleman and do small things like oh I don't know... open the door for you, or not talk on their cellphone when they are with you, or take you serious when you say no.  Chivalry is out the window as far as i'm concerned.
Thank you Jesus for daddy's, puppies, and granpdas! :)

These 4men in my life are the lights of my life and I love them all so very much!!! Thank you Jesus for such AWESOME men/puppy :) And thank you for the awesome man who is far off in my future existing right now doing who knows what! Getting prepared for me :) poor fella!

On a side note... I thank Jesus for all that I learn in everything I go through in life. Even if it may be hard, he uses those hard moments to grab our attention and bring us back to Him.. where we ultimately belong - He should ultimately be the man in our life...first and foremost, and always and forevermore!

Thank you for loving us and being our Father!!!!!!  We are so blessed to serve and be loved by the creator of the universe.  It still blows my mind how the same God who is caring and loving me and speaking to me right now, is the same God who is talking to some other person in Japan at the same time and loving them in the same way!  Who else can do that?!

Lets thank God for the amazing dads and grandpas we have in our lives today!  They are amazing role models and men of God, and we should love and honor them in every way we can; especially our Father in heaven!!!!!

Buenas NACHOS!

Random Goodness!

What to write about today..... what a looong day it was!
I find that its so hard to please people in the work environment that I'm in.  I had a client return today and was just not happy with how her hair was looking (we did it previously the Friday before).  However, after assessing the situation I realized that her situation and dislike of her hair was not actually about her hair at all... she was more unsatisfied with how her heart was - in went much deeper than just hair.
She sat in my chair on Friday starting off with "I hate how I look... I hate my skin color.  I hate my body and my hair. Please make me feel good about myself the best you can with what I've given you to deal with." She actually felt she was not fixable to look even halfway decent.
Thats a cry for love and genuine fellowship and acceptance!

I have started to try to look at other people that even though they have a hard exterior, their interior is total cookie crumbles and mush...they are so wanting to be accepted and sometimes the hardness of their appearance and attitude makes them seem almost invincible like they do not need your acceptance or need you.
When people have a really bad attitude or are always putting down other people, it is coming from a completely different part of them than just being in a bad mood.
It makes me so angry to see how some people are so very quick to judge (I, too, can be that way) and just look down on others because of their appearance or mindset of life.
But you have to remember, everyone has a past... everyone wants to be loved (and I don't care what you say YOU DO!).  Everybody has a story!
We must love everyone and not judge... no matter what the circumstance. God loves us, and we are no better than anyone.
Like our pastor said on Sunday, no one is better than anyone because there is no standard for who is better than who. Our standard of being a good christian is God, and NONE of us measures up to that.  God is the ultimate "better" than anyone that walks this earth - so who are we to think otherwise?

Remember, everyone has a story. You have a story. Just let God be the author.

Hasta manana people!

What to wear!

So, this is my very first entry.... lets see how it goes. :)

Today as I was walking with my very dear friend, Carissa... I was rambling about the ungodly amount of clothes I have... and how I worry about what am I gonna wear to this and that and how my mom (love u!) always says "If you worried about what your heart looks like half as much as you do in taking care of yourself and looking nice, you would be in good shape!". Very, very true!

We always wake up and think "what am I gonna wear today?" "how will I look in this?" and "what will people think of me in this outfit?" the same goes for our hearts as it does for our outer appearance.
We wake up every morning and put on a different outfit for our hearts every single day.
For a few weeks I was dressing my heart all in black - in depression.  All people would see was the gloominess. Other times I dress my heart in being "hard"... kind of emoish, like nothing can harm me and I am fearless.
However, we should wake up everyday and wear the armor of God! Open our hearts up to Him and let him clothe us in His righteousness and truth.  He calls us to show everyone who we are in Him and let Him shine through us, and our hearts and actions are the biggest things that people ultimately notice.  We can dress our bodies in any way we want to, to make us look beautiful or whatever way we are feeling.  But our hearts is what is ultimately acknowledged and how we are known for.  I can meet the most beautiful/handsome of people, but if their heart is no good, I see them in a different way.

I have fallen short to this for most of my life.  Hypocritical and judgmental.  I need to find who I am in the Lord and walk with Him, unwaveringly.

So, lets wake up and instead of thinking of how we will appear physicall, lets ask God how should we dress our hearts today?

Love peace and chicken grease y'all!